The List

As soon as the idea came to me to do a “20 Things for 20 Years”, I started writing things down. The first 6 came to me really easily, things like “spend the anniversary of her death somewhere beautiful”  and “go to more live music”, “travel more”.   I started with all the things that I USED to do but had stopped somewhere along the way.

Then the list started to get a little harder. I had to dig a little deeper.  So I made up some rules for what would make it onto the list……The task has to challenge me, or something I have been putting off.  Those are MUCH harder to write down…. because… I might ACTUALLY have to go do them.  So I wrote things down like “go to Toastmasters”, “take singing lessons”, “dress up in a full fun costume”.  Oh boy, now we are really getting out of my comfort zone.

writing in notebook

I started a notebook to keep all of these ideas in.  The random list is at the beginning of the notebook, where I am writing every idea that comes to me.  Then, once one of those things becomes more solid, it gets a blue tab.  Here is the list as it stands today.

Note:  The context of WHY these things are making it onto the list may not all be obvious to you.  Believe me, there are really good reasons why these things are important, which I will go into more as I explore each one.

  1. Hot Air Balloon – Be somewhere really beautiful on the 20th anniversary of her death, January 1, 2017
  2. Go to more music concerts, performances, plays, etc. ( I used to love concerts, why did I stop going?)
  3. Try something completely different with my wardrobe, wear clothes that make me feel good and stop worring about what other’s think
  4. The House She Left Me – fully move into the house, fill the blank walls, get out of perfectionism, and make this house look like I live here.
  5. Spend the Year Observing the Special Days – including cemetery visits on Mother’s Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries, I stopped going to the cemetary awhile back, why?
  6. Better Self Care – take care of myself in the way that I would want her to, do one thing per month that takes care of me
  7. Recreate some pictures of her (something like this, but me in the photo instead of her)
  8. Go on a camping trip – in a tent, like I used to do, not sure if this is alone, Wild Style, or with others
  9. Tattoo??? (I have been thinking about a tattoo that represents her for 20 years….)
  10. WRITE – write birthday cards, christmas cards, this blog… write to her whenever I think about her
  11. Go to Toastmasters – find my voice…..for both of us
  12. Paradise, Anchorage, Delaware – Find ways to connect with family and friends
  13. Donate in Her Name – and make it an amount that makes me uncomfortable
  14. Enroll in My Health – challenge what I believe about “I will never be fit”, the problem is that we think we have time, time to get healthy, time to take care of ourselves, NOW is the time
  15. Complete my 20th Program with First Descents – that means doing 5 programs this summer, the numerology seems fitting
  16. What is the definition of “Truly Living”, Interview People about what it means to them

 

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